The Next One

The Next One

So, it's been a year now since my last relationship. This is the longest time I've been single in my life since I've started dating. Shit, this is the longest time I've gone without sex. No booty calls, no nothing. My guy and girl friends have looked upon me in disbelief for the past year and have uttered phrases like, "You're joking" and "you're sure you're not gay?" I would calmly explain my case to them that I was tired of dating or that I just wasn't feeling this girl or that girl and so on. Recently I was reminded why I chose to go "celibate/dateless" for a year. You see, lately I've been running into this girl I use to date a few years back. I've only gone up to talk to her once but I always know when she is in the same room as me even after all this time. She may not see me or even notice me most times, but I always notice her. Seeing her again for the first time made me so nervous and even talking to her took a lot of my will power. My stomach did back flips, my legs felt shaky and my heart raced... It was as if no time had passed. She is still the most beautiful girl I've ever met in mind, soul,and body. Having these reactions again reminded me why I chose to be alone this past year. The simple and undeniable truth of it is that I need to find a girl who can make me react in the way she can. I've dated other people since her and have had sex with women just for the sake of pure physical sex, but not one of them could elicit an emotional response from me on that level simply by just being. Without that crucial piece, dating just sort of became meaningless and sex has become boring to me. It's with this clarity and reflection on the past year of my life that I humbly and graciously ask God and the universe to let the next girl touch me on that deeper level the way that one girl always could. Without out that, everything else is pointless.