Letters to the Sun.
"What is it about a sunset that causes strange sensations in your head and your body? It's like you are just going through the day, riding the bus, or walking down the street and the minute you look at the setting sun, your mind gets the most peculiar sensation."
Stretching from behind the massive computer monitor, Jacque couldn't help but look out the window and take in the golden rays of the setting sun for just a brief moment.
"Its moments like these that make me wonder what is going on out in the world. No one can really know what is going on in other people's lives, we are only trapped in the world we see from our own point of view. To think right now as I type away my idle thoughts a father is teaching his son how to throw a ball down the street while the mother is inside watching from behind the slightly drawn curtain with a smile on her lips. In the next county a group of people could be meeting to discuss a common goal or idea. Somewhere across the ocean at the same time a man could be walking his dog, idly day dreaming about the date he had the evening before...so many things happening all at once and we are oblivious to it."
"What is even stranger is that we never really know what is going on inside people's heads, let alone their hearts. For all we know that father tossing the ball down the street with his son could be secretly thinking that the child looks nothing like him but is too scared to confront his wife of three years about it for fear of her leaving him once the truth is out, or he might even leave her. At the same time the doting wife smiling through the curtains at her husband and son could be thinking what to tell the husband as the child grows more and more, while resembling him less and less. She could be feeling a tremendous amount of guilt behind that smiling facade, or none at all. Hell, she could be planning her next indiscretion right at that very moment. He could be doing the exact same..."
"The group in the next county could be no different. They could be working towards a common goal of raising money for their locally established charity, lead by one of the most respected men or women in town. All of them could be eagerly planning away, feeling great about all the good they will be doing while one of them is thinking how they can skip some profits off the top to feed his growing drug addiction. It would only be a little at first. He could stop at any time he wants. He thinks he is in control. He could stop at any time, just not today. Maybe tomorrow..."
"As for the man walking his dog, well he could just plain be walking his dog. No malicious or selfish intent in the world. But he is human...we are built to be selfish. I could only imagine what is going through his head..."
"It is funny that I am even writing this. I am no better. While thinking about all that little dark stuff going on in people's minds while I sit here and type away, I too am somewhere else other than the present moment. What am I guilty of your probably wondering? Well... that little lady that I haven't seen now for over a month. Why don't I go out and see her you're probably wondering. Well she wants nothing to do with me you see. What should be simple is caught up in complexity. She is afraid to get hurt, and I totally understand. I'm not the easiest to get along with. I do dumb shit in the midst of my anger and emotion. I don't even stop to think, I just react. Every day I try to do better, but one thing or another will lead back into the same old argument. God knows we tried. God also knows I want to try again. And again, and again, and once more if that is what it takes to get it right. But sometimes you don't get a second chance, or in my case a third, fourth, fifth...who knows anymore? It still doesn't stop me from thinking about her. How is she doing? What is her hair look like today? What did she do today? Is she happy? All the little things that just won't go away in the back of my mind even as I try not to think about her. I wonder..."
Shaking his head, Jacque took a deep breath to steady his racing mind.
"Almost went on a rant there. You see what I mean when you never really know what is going on in a person's mind? For now I have control of my thoughts, but guaranteed as soon as I let my guard down, or am not distracted something will pop up. I just hope my date tonight will be interesting enough that it doesn't happen, often. Little does she know as I sit there with her I could be thinking about someone else. Shit, she could be too. I guess I can't blame her if I am doing it too. What time is it? Oh shit! I'm late..."
Stretching from behind the massive computer monitor, Jacque couldn't help but look out the window and take in the golden rays of the setting sun for just a brief moment.
"Its moments like these that make me wonder what is going on out in the world. No one can really know what is going on in other people's lives, we are only trapped in the world we see from our own point of view. To think right now as I type away my idle thoughts a father is teaching his son how to throw a ball down the street while the mother is inside watching from behind the slightly drawn curtain with a smile on her lips. In the next county a group of people could be meeting to discuss a common goal or idea. Somewhere across the ocean at the same time a man could be walking his dog, idly day dreaming about the date he had the evening before...so many things happening all at once and we are oblivious to it."
"What is even stranger is that we never really know what is going on inside people's heads, let alone their hearts. For all we know that father tossing the ball down the street with his son could be secretly thinking that the child looks nothing like him but is too scared to confront his wife of three years about it for fear of her leaving him once the truth is out, or he might even leave her. At the same time the doting wife smiling through the curtains at her husband and son could be thinking what to tell the husband as the child grows more and more, while resembling him less and less. She could be feeling a tremendous amount of guilt behind that smiling facade, or none at all. Hell, she could be planning her next indiscretion right at that very moment. He could be doing the exact same..."
"The group in the next county could be no different. They could be working towards a common goal of raising money for their locally established charity, lead by one of the most respected men or women in town. All of them could be eagerly planning away, feeling great about all the good they will be doing while one of them is thinking how they can skip some profits off the top to feed his growing drug addiction. It would only be a little at first. He could stop at any time he wants. He thinks he is in control. He could stop at any time, just not today. Maybe tomorrow..."
"As for the man walking his dog, well he could just plain be walking his dog. No malicious or selfish intent in the world. But he is human...we are built to be selfish. I could only imagine what is going through his head..."
"It is funny that I am even writing this. I am no better. While thinking about all that little dark stuff going on in people's minds while I sit here and type away, I too am somewhere else other than the present moment. What am I guilty of your probably wondering? Well... that little lady that I haven't seen now for over a month. Why don't I go out and see her you're probably wondering. Well she wants nothing to do with me you see. What should be simple is caught up in complexity. She is afraid to get hurt, and I totally understand. I'm not the easiest to get along with. I do dumb shit in the midst of my anger and emotion. I don't even stop to think, I just react. Every day I try to do better, but one thing or another will lead back into the same old argument. God knows we tried. God also knows I want to try again. And again, and again, and once more if that is what it takes to get it right. But sometimes you don't get a second chance, or in my case a third, fourth, fifth...who knows anymore? It still doesn't stop me from thinking about her. How is she doing? What is her hair look like today? What did she do today? Is she happy? All the little things that just won't go away in the back of my mind even as I try not to think about her. I wonder..."
Shaking his head, Jacque took a deep breath to steady his racing mind.
"Almost went on a rant there. You see what I mean when you never really know what is going on in a person's mind? For now I have control of my thoughts, but guaranteed as soon as I let my guard down, or am not distracted something will pop up. I just hope my date tonight will be interesting enough that it doesn't happen, often. Little does she know as I sit there with her I could be thinking about someone else. Shit, she could be too. I guess I can't blame her if I am doing it too. What time is it? Oh shit! I'm late..."
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