Empty Dirt Road

As much as I have my desires and aspirations planned out in my head these days I still feel like I'm walking on a barren dirt road in some far off country. There is no life and no landmarks in sight.  

Walking on this abandoned stretch of road I am constantly nagged by the desire to do right by other people and just give love. But not at the expense of being used. I am cautious. Too cautious. Sure I still take risks but never with my heart it seems. I want to be loved and give love, but I just can't seem to connect to anyone on that level anymore. Sometimes I fear that I'm broken or dysfunctional in some way in that area. I remember seeing all these happy couples walking hand in hand. A smile here. A kiss there. Yet my road is still abandoned as far as I can see. I am alone with nothing but the breeze and my thoughts.

It fills me with envy.

It's maddening. 

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