Movies in the Dark

It's dark in this room. The dark is where I feel the safest. It's also the place I feel the most conflicted. Everything I've ever done- wrong or right- is laid bare before my eyes in the dark. The images play across my eyes like an old movie. Some are in black and white. Others are full of color. Most make me laugh for I've been blessed so far in my life with good friends, great family and unforgettable memories. But the other ones, the dark memories, the times I've been at my lowest or haven't been the person I have long ago begun to grow into, those memories taunt me almost every night. They beg me to weep. On some nights I give in too. Other times I block them out or think on them thoughtfully. Being alone in the dark is the most empowering and frightful thing that I face daily. I am bare. I am naked to my own mind. I can never escape. And being alone is the right of passage of all men. We are born alone. We die alone. It is a gift and a tragedy. The ever present dark welcomes me. The lights are off, the machine has started  so it's time for me to lay back and watch my own show.