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Showing posts from February, 2013

Progress

I have to say it feels damn good to get some stuff in my life handled. I'm in the best shape I've evee been in. I'm slowly making my debt disappear.  I've stayed commited to my no sex or dating rule for the pasr year just to prove to get back to me. Now what's next? Hmmm well once I pay those credit cards in full I want to save up for a car of my own and an apartment.  Maybe even move to Vancouver.  I definitely want to start dating again. I also really want to see my writing published for the first time and then published on a consistent basis.  There is so much more but those would be the most important.  All in its place and time.    Gabriel Janas

In the Moment

I've been going to the gym for a few months now. It's the part of my day that I look forward to the most.  I've come to realize the reason why that is my favorite time of day is because it lets me be in the moment.  When I'm in there it is just me against me.  I have full control of the outcome.  There are no worries about work,  or how bad I'm doing in school.  There is no nagging from figures of authority or concerns whether this girl likes me or how to be the best person I can be everyday. I don't even wonder how I will get my bills paid on time. There is only the next set. There is only the next repetition. There is only the next push. There is only the moment. For those few seconds of strain as my muscles rip to push for that next plateau there is peace.  For those few seconds I am free. Gabriel Janas

In Appreciation

I woke up this morning pretty charged and ready to go. Then as it usually does in the morning something that bothers me makes its way into my thoughts and saps a bit of my energy and tempers my eagerness for the day. There isn't much I can do right now about it and it kind of sucks. All I can do is wait. But what I can do is appreciate how good I got it with the friends I have and the people that have an impact on my life. First and foremost a thank you to Pawel Zygmunt for being a loveable polish man for the last 20 some years of my life. You rock. Anwar Fayad! Get Facebook damn it so you can see me sing your praises. You are one of a kind. Francisco Ferman Rodas. My Mexico. My place to run when the cops be chasing me and an amazing friend. Jared Carvalho. The acquaintance of my life. Always a straight shooter with a big heart. Kyle Galas. Been through life and almost death together. Got mad love for my homie. Augustine Aranas. I haven't seen you in awhile but it always feel

Too Real

I'm so tired of these nightmares. They play on every single one of my fears and they feel so real. Sometimes I wake up shaking and sweating. There are somethings that are just not allowed to come true.

Control of My Mainframe

It's hard to sleep. It is a bit alarming. I don't have to tell you about the things that go bump in the night. It's been 100 years since the last night of solid rest. But for once I'm not helpless. I'm also not lost. I know who I've been. I know who I am. Most importantly I know where I am going. That clarity is like a pool of water in a desert. Refreshing as fuck. Now it's only my ambitions that mess with my head and my heart. But I'm going to get mine. I always make sure I do. This time I do it the right way too. I ain't happy but I'm motivated as hell. Anything that gets in my way...well we know what happens there. Ps. To you who is going through hell right now: I know we have our difference and problems but you have friends who are there for you if you need them. I am also here. My ear is open as is my heart. P.p.s.- "We all have stress Gabi. You can't let it get you down. Just stop stressing and push through. " - Inconseque

Nothing

What have I got to write about tonight? Nothing. I am writing about nothing. It's nothing and everything all at the same time. Gabriel Janas